From our overseas guest blogger, Jason Leister, the Incomapable Expert
You Don’t Own Me
It can really make you angry when a client relationship starts to go sideways and you feel like they think they “own” you.
When that happens, you can try to set the record straight, or maybe blow up the relationship, or just sit around with whatever anger/frustration/resentment that brings up in your body and allow your emotional state to transform into a mucky, toxic energetic soup.
All of these are valid options. But there’s another valid option I didn’t discover until well into my business journey. And this one is a much healthier choice!
That option is to dig into the WHY behind this feeling and then use what you discover to figure out what is really going on.
What is going on is that the world has drilled the master/slave archetype into our psyche from the very youngest of ages, so much so that we tend to project that onto just about EVERYTHING we do.
Let’s see… early on, we’ve got the mom and dad archetype. They are the first authority figures we get to meet. They certainly mean well. But sometimes, using our helpless state as children to make them feel like they have some control over SOMETHING in their lives is really the best they can do. This might be why, “Because I said so,” is such a popular phrase among parents.
Next come the teachers at school, or pre-school or whatever school they’ve invented before that to get their hands on kids’ minds even earlier…
For some, there’s a God figure thrown in there sitting around just waiting to judge you and everything you do… and don’t forget Santa Claus with his naughty and nice list… he’s watching you too!
It’s the same recipe over and over again.
There’s a master, there’s a slave.
So why would we feel like our clients are the “master?”
Because they have the money. That’s why. And whoever has the money makes the rules. Isn’t that how the program goes?
You can believe that if you want. But it’s that very belief that turns people into robots who betray themselves to get dollars.
The truth is, no one FORCES you to believe in this dynamic. You have to choose to do it on your own. The problem is that by choosing to believe it, dear Powerful One, you actually create it.
But your client is not your daddy.
And your client is not your mommy.
Your client is not your teacher… or the judge… jury or executioner.
Your clients are simply human beings who are doing their best to get through life much like we all are.
Can you throw out the master/slave template and install a new one? One that is a little closer to the truth and not based on our own internal fears of judgement?
Your clients have chosen you, above all others, to help them with something.
They have chosen you to lead them to some destination to which they are not equipped to travel on their own.
That makes you a leader of sorts.
THAT is the feeling you can take on your journey. You, a leader of men and women who have entrusted you to provide something they value FAR more than money.